Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
