I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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