All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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