When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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