dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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