is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
