I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
