He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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