my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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