did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
