Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
