I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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