Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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