You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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