Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
