Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
