we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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