Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
