we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have already put on my inside pants.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
