It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
