I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
