we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You are a genius and a whore.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
