They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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