I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
