please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
