who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
