I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Are we still banned from the library?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
