So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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