I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
