They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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