Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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