She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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