well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
