I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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