i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
