CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
