The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
