I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
