So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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