i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
