where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
