It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize