I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
