flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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