I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
