We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
