you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize