Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
