definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
where does the pee come out of this thing
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's rum buckets o'clock
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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