I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
