Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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