he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was like getting head from an anaconda
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
