Your tits are I can't wait for
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
