did you get engaged???
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
