Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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