Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
