Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
