I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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