the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
