this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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