Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
