Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
