My hand turned me down
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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