I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm getting married
To pizza
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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