dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
