So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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