i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
