first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
