we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
