Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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