so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
